#longpost But this may change your life... So make some time
💕If you're wondering about the hearts 💕💕 This is a tough love post 💕💕 So, remember, written with love…
An unconscious reason holding a lot of people back is fear of the unknown. We are intimately familiar with the (uncomfortable) circumstances we are navigating now. You've had three plus years of being a law student and 0 years of being an attorney. It is very clear what the 'unknown' here is.
When I approached my last semester of law school I became aware of a growing panic inside me. I was very aware of it because I was abstaining from my usual "check out" habits. You know, the habits you use to check out of life and feeling your feelings like,
eating chocolate,
binge watching Netflix,
drinking,
smoking,
picking a fight in your relationship,
You name it, we humans have come up with creative ways to check out of our feelings, even
getting sick
getting into accidents; and
(here's a good one)
taking care of OTHER people who have gotten sick or into accidents (that's a good one because not only are you an innocent party in the sabotaging of your success but you are 'selfless', 'giving' and 'generous' too. The best get out of jail free card EVER)
Anyway, I was being hyper-aware of my check-out tendencies, and trying to avoid them, so I had no choice but to acknowledge that something was driving me to want to check out.
I did a little digging and came to find it was fear and panic around leaving school--for good. Without higher education classes and the pursuit of a degree, I was left to form a new identity. I did not know what that would be or if I could even fill those lofty shoes that I would create for myself (I always made big dreams).
Most importantly, there would no longer be any person, any institution, or any pre-requisite to hide behind and excuse me for why I haven't accomplished my goals (At this point, I hadn't factored in using the Bar Exam as another excuse yet so humor me). I stumbled at this crucial transition period.
It took me years to uncover my voice, choose my new identity and step forward to fill those shoes I'd built for myself. And then I passed the Bar. (Mind the order here, I filled the shoes, then I passed the Bar, the Bar did not give me my identity. Important.) This could all have amounted to a miserable story that I would forever ashamedly keep secret except I discovered a silver lining.
My pain is someone else's gain.
Now, I am taking the steep investment of time and money (not to mention heartache and pain) that I put into finding my way so I could finally stop sabotaging myself and pass the Bar and I am turning that investment into a gold mine for you, astute aspiring attorneys, who were sharp enough to catch on to the fact that mindset plays a HUGE role in Bar Exam Success. And sharp enough to hop into a group where someone is actually talking about this stuff.
As I work with aspiring attorneys it becomes increasingly obvious that the only people who can't see what is holding the individual back is the very individual who is being held back. And no matter how many times an outside individual points out what is going on with you, it's like they are speaking Greek. The part of you that needs to stay in the safe zone (the in-between zone, not a law student but not a lawyer either) almost deafens your ears to any words of wisdom that might help.
Two things I've found that allow the breakthrough and transformation to happen (1) investing in your transformation. As you will learn in later law practice people do not value, much less implement, free advice. They just don't. They have no skin in the game, no reason to listen. Likewise with Bar students. If passing the Bar was reason enough to change behaviors and adopt new thought patterns everyone would pass on the first try. People generally don't take free advice. Especially if it involves changing. Who wants to change!?! We want to keep doing things exactly as we are doing them and get the prize.
Remember, and you may not realize when this happened to you but, countless people have already pointed out the problem. It's the Ego (the survival part of you that needs you to stay in the comfort zone of sameness) that wins out by finding clever distractions to keep you from taking the advice to heart.
However, it's hard to ignore the advice when a dollar tag is attached to it. If you made an investment that means something to you, you would stop Ego from arguing with your mentor, trying to prove your point, or playing the victim with righteous indignation.
If *I* were paying tens of thousands for advice you better believe I'd be waiting for the meeting room to open (even though I'm usually late), sitting in the front row (even though I dread teachers making eye contact), taking notes (really?), and raising my hand EVERY time I had a question, plus staying after in hopes for personal Q&A time with the teacher.
I'd be going against every trained and ingrained habit my Ego has used to keep me safe (and stuck) thus far. Why? Because I've invested good money and I'll be darned if I let that little childish side of me waste the opportunity. So that's the first key to your transformation--investing in it.
What's the next?
(2) Having someone to kick your butt—figuratively speaking of course. The stuff we avoid when we unconsciously choose to stay in our comfort zone don't become any more inviting just because we are now aware that we are avoiding them. In fact, they become scarier.
"If THAT could cause me to fail the Bar time and again it MUST be scary." We may even (like a two-year-old) plop on the floor with our arms crossed and say "I'm NOT doing it".
And we continue to obey our ego's directive to "Sit" "Stay" "Rollover". Yup, just like that our little survival self is running the show because you're too afraid to tip-toe to the closet, crack open the door and, see that there really is NO monster in there. You change that scenario (and the trajectory of your life) by enlisting the help of someone who will hold your hand (or yank you out of bed) walk you to the closet and hold on to you tightly as you crack open the door and realize *whew* there really is NO monster in there.
Here's what Kelly has to say: "Before talking with Jennifer, I hadn't ever really thought about how much of a factor mindset played in my productivity or lack thereof. I realized that I wasted a lot of energy on things that weren't getting me any closer to my goals. Jennifer inspired me to work on developing better habits and shift my mindset away from negative self-talk to help increase my productivity and set myself up for success. Everyone needs a Jenny in their pocket!"
There are other success stories, but you know what I want to hear? I want to hear your story. If you recognized yourself in any of these words and wonder what you can do differently to pass the Bar here are my digits (figuratively of course) schedule a call with me and let's chat
In 20-45 minutes (depending on how stubborn your ego is), I'll help you bypass that ego and see the truth that people have been pointing out but Ego has cleverly kept you missing. Now, we're not vilifying the Ego. We all depend on the Ego to help us survive and fit in. But there comes a time when Ego's rules no longer work for you. You've been following those rules for so long, however, that you've forgotten what they are.
They run on autopilot. It takes someone outside of you to point out what you're doing and believing that may have once worked for you but is not holding you back from passing the Bar. Want to find out why some people think this process is magic? Schedule your Confidence Kickstart Call today!