When I learned I passed the Bar, I kept it to myself for some time.
It was hours before my partner knew. He couldn’t understand how I could keep it to myself for so long.
It was days before my family members knew, even my own son.
More than a week passed before my Bar tutor had to reach out to me, to find out whether I had passed.
Keeping Bar Passing Secret
At first, I thought it was because that’s how long it took to sink in. As a repeat Bar taker, when passing finally happens, it takes some major emotional adjustment. Most repeaters brace themselves against the pain of failing, even if they tell themselves they are “being positive”.
But, I discovered the REAL reason I had kept it to myself. I learned it as I helped others do what I did—pass the Bar after multiple tries. The real reason was that I was in a serious “what now” period; an “oh sh*t” moment, if you will.
Post-Bar Life is Scary for High-Achievers
Now, I had to go make good on all those promises I made to myself about the future. The gravity of the situation dawned on me as I started remembering all those things I said I would do “if only I could pass the Bar”... I actually had to do them now. I had no Bar Exam to blame.
It was then I realized how many hairy, scary monsters were still in the closet after I passed. The same monsters that caused me to pump my brakes on passing.
See academics was never the problem. The scary monsters were.
The Secret to Continual Achievement
Thank GOODNESS I had a coach, even at that in-between time of waiting for results. After taking the Bar, I refused to put my life on hold. It had been on hold for 3 years! So, I enlisted another coach to help me make progress in my ideal life, regardless of whether I passed the Bar or not.
She was there in my corner to coach me on asking for a promotion from the firm where I was a paralegal. She coached me on negotiating my new salary from a place of faith and expansion (not from a fearful, begging perspective).
I got my start in real estate investing that year. I got clear on my desired relationships. And I made peace with my parenting style. All those steps set me up for continued success years later. A lot of progress was made because, by getting a coach, I built in the accountability and help I needed to keep efficiently moving forward.
Passing the Bar could’ve been the denouement of my life. The big “now what?” could’ve gone unanswered. I could’ve kept plugging away at what other people said I should do with my time and degree. But today, I live from passion and purpose, with fulfillment...because, I had a coach.
Jennifer Duclair, Esq. is a Bar Exam Mentor and Attorney Life Coach. More information on passing the Bar after multiple tries can be found on her homepage https://www.jenniferduclair.com
