Ever feel like you’re constantly on the verge of success but never quite getting there?
It might be more than just a tough break. You might be unknowingly standing in your own way. Yes, you heard that right. If you’ve been repeatedly missing the mark on your bar exam by just a hair, there’s a chance it’s not about your study habits but about something deeper—your sense of worthiness.
Think about it. Have you noticed patterns in your life where you deliberately (or subconsciously) make things harder for yourself? Do you often end up in challenging situations, perhaps more challenging than they need to be? This might not just be a coincidence. It could be a manifestation of feeling unworthy of success.
The Worthiness Trap
Let’s dive into how feelings of unworthiness can be the silent saboteur in your bar exam journey.
It can take many forms during bar prep. Maybe you change your answers at the last minute, spiral into negative thoughts, or lose precious exam time. Perhaps you don’t give your all during study sessions, already setting yourself up with excuses for potential failure. If these behaviors sound familiar, it’s time to look at the root cause—self-worth.
Where It All Began
We’re not born feeling unworthy. This belief is taught. It could stem from early school experiences or even as young as two years old when we start facing punishment and reward systems. Somewhere along the line, the message got through that we have to earn our place and work extra hard for even a small piece of goodness.
But here’s the truth:
Just getting to the point of sitting for the bar exam means you’re already excelling. The old beliefs that might have been functional until now have to go.
That feeling of unworthiness? It’s got to be left behind if you want to move forward.
Recognizing Habits
Take a close look at your bar prep habits. Do you skip study sessions not to rest but to binge-watch Netflix? Do you prioritize others’ needs over your own, blurring boundaries, and compromising your study schedule? These are subtle ways you might be undermining your own progress.
One of my clients decided to flip the script. She started getting up early, before her child was awake, to ensure she had uninterrupted study time. This small change was her way of committing fully and saying, “I deserve to pass.” She got out of the worthiness trap and gave herself the freedom to succeed.
Real Stories, Real Change
Another client of mine found a new job where she felt valued and part of a successful team, despite not yet passing the bar. Her company believed in her so much that upon failing the bar they gave her a $20,000 raise. She realized her worth wasn’t tied to passing the bar but to her inherent value. This mindset shift was crucial.
The Climb Out
Unhooking your self-worth from your achievements can be tough, especially for those of us in law. We’re trained to seek approval and affirmation through our accomplishments. But this shift is vital. It’s about recognizing that your worth isn’t earned through passing the bar—it’s intrinsic.
If you find yourself resonating with these stories and are tired of being caught in the worthiness trap, it’s time to make a change. Look at the resources below to start climbing out of this cycle. Break free, and secure the success you deserve.
Take the steps and keep pushing forward. Your worth is not up for debate.
If you'd like personalized assistance, feel free to schedule a complimentary 15-minute call with me.