This article is part of a series originally published on LinkedIn. See below to connect with me on LinkedIn for the more helpful content.
If you are working and taking care of the family while studying for the Bar, it’s probably of necessity. Likely, you’re retaking the Bar Exam.
You may be single-handedly taking care of financial and household responsibilities, including child-rearing.
You may have some help, but the majority of it falls on you. You’re a hardworking person. You’ve probably done very well thus far, without too much extra help.
That may be part of the problem.
The repeat Bar Exam takers that I’ve seen finally pass the Bar, did so by taking a series of bold, decisive actions. These actions essentially amounted to “ghosting” their families in the weeks leading up to the Exam.
Now, this is not a harsh type of ghosting. In fact, it’s one of the more loving things to do when you weigh, on balance:
another year of Bar prep,
money spent for reexamination of one or more parts,
more sacrifices for study time, not to mention,
your loved ones dealing with a mom or wife who is dissatisfied with herself because she hasn’t “accomplished the mission”.
Here are some examples of “loving ghosting”.
One woman, who is married, had the great fortune of her husband being out of the country during the months that she studied for (and finally passed) the Bar. She even dropped her dog off to be looked after by her parents.
Another bar exam taker literally moved out of the house and left her husband home with the kids in the weeks leading up to the Exam.
And yet another bar exam taker dropped her only child off at her parent’s house for the entire summer leading up to the bar exam.
And they all took one to two weeks off from work before the Exam.
Of course, the sacrifice paid off because they knew what to do with their newfound freedom.
More on that later in my next article.
This might seem extreme, to some.
If you’re anything like I was, you can’t fathom your household running without you. As moms, partners, and wives we’re conditioned that our loved ones’ well-being depends on us. And maybe your business’s survival or your office work too.
Bar Exam Takers who perceive it is their duty to be the center of everyone’s world (yes, this includes your own children’s world) will have the most difficulty with the Bar. It is completely possible and doable to step back and let the world and your loved ones carry on without you for a while—if you allow yourself to.
Get some help with that.
You may need to seek some guidance and undergo some mindset shifts to do this. But it’s possible. It is one of the simplest strategies to boost your chances of passing the Exam.
There’s one major problem I’ve seen come up with Bar Exam takers after they’ve worked up the courage to step back and carve out much-needed study time. This issue gets in the way of Bar takers utilizing their time wisely. It invalidates the sacrifices and investments that the Bar Exam taker and her family, friends, co-workers, and boss have made.
Read what it is and how to resolve this problem here.